THERE IS NO WAY AROUND FORGIVENESS

 

Here's a scenario to consider.  There's a person A and a person B.  Person B does something terribly wrong to person A.  Something that is flat out evil and despicable.  Person A is devastated by what was done by person B and is filled with hatred and anger toward Person B.  Time passes and Person B comes to realize the fullness of what he has done and comes to Person A in order to make amends and ask for forgiveness.  Person A does not forgive him for what he has done.  Person B tries and tries to get back into the good graces of Person A but it is to no avail.  The unforgiveness in Person A's heart remains and Person A dies, taking this unforgiveness to the grave.  Now there is no chance at reconciliation, no chance at forgiveness.  Person B is distraught for there was a time when he and Person A were the best of friends, when they were close.  But the evil deed of Person B fractured that friendship and the unwillingness of Person A to forgive made the friendship unable to be repaired.  Is this not a scenario that often plays out in our world today?

 As we come into this holiday season, sure there will be great times to be shared.  But yet there will be relationships between family members, friends, co-workers, etc. that are broken and remain that way because of the unwillingness to forgive.  Many times it is just forgiveness that is needed in order to restore these relationships.  But the stubbornness and selfishness of people allows this not to take place.  Saints, let's look at reality.  In the life that we live, we will be wronged by others and we have most likely wronged others during our lifetime as well.  We have been in both the position of asking for forgiveness and also the position of exhibiting forgiveness.  We've seen both sides.  Have we forgotten the humbled position that we were in when we wronged another and how when we genuinely apologized and made amends, we hoped that we would be forgiven?  Perhaps we had even sought this forgiveness with tears.  And what happened when we were denied forgiveness?  Was it not devastating?  Did it not feel as if our very heart was ripped out?  Did it not cause us anguish?

 The greatest example of the willingness to forgive is God Himself sending His Son Jesus to die for our sins (Isaiah 53:6-12).  And do you want to talk about a man who was wronged more than any other in history?  Look no further than Jesus Christ, God in the flesh.  He came to earth to provide salvation to mankind and look at how he was treated.  Yet even as He hung on the cross, look at His words.  We complain and moan about how much we have been wronged.  But do we even consider for a second how much God has been wronged throughout the ages?  Do we consider the part that we ourselves have played in that because before we came to Christ, we were sinners (Romans 3:10-12, 23)?  We sure do have a lot of pride don't we saints.  So easily, we forget just how much God forgave us for and we forget the times when we sought Him with tears and cried a river, begging for Him to forgive us for the sins that we had committed.  When we repented, did He need not grant us this repentance (1 John 1:9)?  Did He not turn His face of anger into a face of compassion and embrace us even though we did not deserve it?  If the Holy God is willing to do this for us, there should be no problem with us doing the same for others.  In fact, I would go as far as to say that not to forgive is a heinous crime and a slap in the face to God who went through the greatest lengths in order to provide forgiveness to us. 

 I point out this portion of Scripture as a reminder to show just how seriously God take forgiveness, especially between the brethren.  Many times in the pulpits, this truth is not given any type of consideration.  Perhaps it is because it is one of those rough truths that isn't very pleasing to the ear and the carnal nature.  Make no mistake though, just because it isn't very pleasant to the ear does not mean that it is not true.  The warning that is given is given that we might take it seriously and not just given as an option to obey if we choose to.  How dare we sit back and refuse to forgive another when we came to Christ pitiful, broken down and good for nothing and yet He still forgave us?  How dare we refuse to forgive another when the crimes that have been committed against us are nothing in comparison to the crimes that each and every one of us have committed against the Lord?  Boy, our memories must be so short for us to forget that it was the Lord that forgave us of the most dastardly and most heinous crimes in order that we may have salvation through Christ.  The Lord is the one who showed mercy to us, not only because He loves us, not only to save us but also for us to follow His example in showing mercy to others.  We've become puffed up and prideful, forgetting that we are to be working out our own salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), not arrogance and pride.  We have forgotten the mercy of the Lord, something that we should remember and give thanks for each and every day that we live.  Now some more words from Jesus, this time from within a parable: 

So do we deserve the wrath of the Lord if we refuse to forgive another?  Indeed, we do and I say it without hesitation, especially after all that God has put up with and all that He has done for us.  This is in essence what the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant in Matthew 18 is about.  God is perfect and God is holy and just so He need not ask for forgiveness from anybody for any of His actions because all He has done throughout all of time is do what is right.  Man is a fool if he believes that God can be put on trial for anything or that God needs to answer him for what He does (Daniel 4:35).  Man is an even bigger fool if he believes that he is not deserving of anything other than God's wrath to abide on him.  But it was the love of God, through His grace and His mercy that allows us to be forgiven and to even live day after day because to tell the truth, not one of us deserves to wake up each morning.  Not one.  Not you and not me.  These things I say with the highest conviction and I will not hold back.  Praise the Lord for His mercy and praise the Lord for His forgiveness and realize just how much He has done for each of us who are believers in Christ.  And if we have the nerve to think that we are in a position where we have the right not to forgive, then we are most certainly deserving of His mighty wrath for we become children of disobedience (Colossians 3:5-6). 

What a great truth spoken by the man born blind that Jesus healed.  Remember saints, God does not hear the prayers of the wicked which include unforgiveness.  To not forgive is considered a wicked thing by God.  So it can be our unforgiveness that is causing our prayers not to be heard or considered.  Prayer is that communication between a believer and the Lord.  It is a vital and essential part of the walk of faith.  And let's not forget that we are the ones who need that communication with God more than He needs that communication with us.  Whether we choose to glorify the Lord or not will not make a difference in God ultimately getting the glory that is due to Him.  For we are not the only vessels that can be used to glorify God.  Did not Jesus say Himself that if people don't cry out and praise God, the stones can do so (Luke 19:39-40)?  God does not just glory in one aspect or one part of His creation, He glories in all of His creation (Psalm 19:1).  Let's not get too ahead of ourselves here.  Even though it is God's heart that none should perish, this does not mean that we are so indispensable that God will not look for another if we are not fulfilling His will.  Consider what happened to Saul and how David was picked by God to be Saul's successor because Saul became disobedient (1 Samuel 15:24-28).  This is a good warning to us.  And not only that, but God will not forgive us if we don't forgive others and we all know what happens if we die in our sins don't we?  Furthermore, don't be fooled.  While we live in our sins, it can seem like God is blessing us and answering our prayers but remember that the devil can imitate a lot of things, especially since he disguises himself as an "angel of light" (2 Corinthians 11:14).  Yes, we can be fooled by thinking that everything is okay because our finances are doing well, our marriages are staying strong and we're receiving promotions on the job but do we not know that these things can be the veil that keeps us from seeing what is really going on (2 Thessalonians 2:11-12)?  This is an important reason why we must stay in God's word as believers and not just go off what we have and are experiencing.  For the word of God will reveal things as they truly are, not experience. 

I will share my personal experience with unforgiveness.  Saints, you are not alone if people have wronged you and sinned against you.  The same has happened to me as well, even by the people that I love the most.  When I was younger, I internalized things a great deal.  I always made it an effort to always try and make it look like to others that I was all okay on the surface even when I was falling apart on the inside.  Unforgiveness ate at me and made my heart dark.  It affected, not just my relationships with those who wronged me, but everybody including God.  Would you believe that the two people I held the most animosity and anger against in my heart were my parents?  Yes, this was the truth, especially in the case with my mother when my parents separated and eventually got divorced when I was around 10 years old.  And there were many events that followed that last throughout the years that should not have been but were.  Saints, I'm being real.  My years from eighth grade through high school were some of the toughest years that I experienced in my life due to the circumstances that I was dealt.  I thank the Lord that He worked within my heart so that I did forgive both of my parents but there was something else that I realized as well.  Was I so perfect and in a position where I had never done anything wrong to them where I needed their forgiveness?  The answer was no.  There were times that I disobeyed them and did things to them that were wrong.  And they always forgave me for those things, praise the Lord.  Today, my relationship with my parents is better than ever and I am thankful to the Lord for that.  This has made me a much better person in regards to my relationships with others and even God.  But looking back, I see that forgiveness is a huge part of the reason why.  If I never forgave my parents and if they never forgave me, then how in the world would our relationship have endured to this point?  It would have most certainly been in shambles to this very day.  Forgiveness is a part of love. 

We can look out there in the world and see relationships that lie in ruin and perhaps the one thing that is missing that could revive and restore that relationship is forgiveness.  But see, in those relationships, whether there was love or not, one thing is for sure.  Love no longer rules in that relationship but animosity and hatred has taken its place.  Marriages have come to an end because of unforgiveness, friendships have come to an end because of unforgiveness, family members have become estranged because of unforgiveness and the list goes on and on.  Now Jesus' very words in Matthew 24:12 were that because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will become cold.  With unforgiveness being wicked and a sin, is it any surprise that it is without love?  It's one thing to have this happening in the world but it is happening perhaps even more so within the very churches.  Yet I wonder if those who do not forgive have looked at themselves in the mirror lately.  And not the mirror that is located in the bathroom but the mirror that is the word of God, which reveals each and every one of us for who we are (Hebrews 4:12-13).  For if they were to view themselves in this mirror, they might see a reflection that probably cause them to turn away quickly.  For what they would see is a dark and tainted soul that has been overrun by the ugliness of coldhearted hatred. 

To not be willing to forgive means that a person's heart has grown dark and cold.  It means that a person has forgotten about what Christ has done.  Consider for a moment if this world and all of us who dwell in it would even exist if God had the cold heart that too many people do.  If He was not willing to forgive, not one of us that live now on this earth would have ever come to exist.  Not one.  And every single person that ever lived would end up going to hell, even if they lived the best life that they possibly could.  Why?  Because not one person is capable of adhering to the Law perfectly and flawlessly.  Only Jesus was able to do this and that is why His sacrifice on the cross was acceptable to God.  Let's remember this and not forget it for by remembering this it will keep us humble toward God and toward others.  Just as God told the Israelites to remember how he delivered them out of Egypt, we are to remember how God has saved us from our sins.  Forgiveness was a part of that process.  Blessed be the Lord for His mercy and forgiveness!

It can be hard to forgive because the things that people do to one another are downright mean and evil.  But we are commanded by the Lord to forgive and to leave vengeance in His hands.  Isn't that what unforgiveness is about?  It's about holding power over somebody else.  It's an attitude that if I don't forgive you, then I hold you as a prisoner and I make you feel pain and sorrow because you made me to suffer.  Isn't that what it is all about?  But guess what?  The real prisoner is the one who refuses to forgive.  For a person who has wronged another can go and make amends and go to God for forgiveness and God will forgive him/her whether the person wronged forgives him/her or not.  This is very interesting.  So a person who has wronged can be justified by God Himself even if the person hasn't been forgiven by the person whom he/she has wronged.  Because all sin is against the Lord anyway.  David, when he sinned against Bathsheba certainly not only sinned against God but also against Bathsheba's husband and yet in Psalm 51, David admits that his sin was ultimately against the Lord.  And I would tend to believe that He who holds our eternal destiny in His hand would be the one that we need to reconcile with the most.  The sinner has been forgiven by God and is reconciled with God.  Now who is the prisoner?  The unforgiver is.  Believe me, when I say that I have known this to be true personally in my own life.  I's a painful realization to come to when we believed that we've gotten the better of another through unforgiveness only to find that same person is going on about his/her life and it is we who are bound by hatred.  Don't let this be you saints. 

Unfortunately the reality of life is that we will not always win over our brother because sometimes they will have given themselves fully back over to wickedness and will not repent of their actions.  I've seen way too many people get caught up in waiting for people who have done them wrong to say the words "I'm sorry" and become miserable when those words never come.  Saints, we can not control the actions of others.  We all have been given free will by the Lord which means that we each have the ability to make our own choices.  Sometimes the choice of a person may be to hurt you with no intention of ever apologizing for it.  This is something that we have to accept as reality even though it absolutely can be painful.  Forgive and move on for if that sinner does not repent, believe me, his/her punishment will be more than substantial when he/she has to face Christ on judgment day.  Just like Jesus told His disciples to shake the dust of their feet when they were not welcomed (Luke 9:5), this is the same attitude that we need to take when the wrong do not repent.  It's also a good reminder to make sure we are working out our own salvation with fear and trembling. 

Don't mistake this passage of Scripture to mean something other than what it is supposed to mean.  This is not saying in the least that a person has a right to hate filled personal vengeance against another.  What this is about is justice being carried out.  It's about righteousness and holiness which by the way are attributes of God.  And even if a person did get some type of retribution, it is through the rules and justice that God had set into place, meaning that a person was not allowed to simply take his own form of vengeance but the penalty was based on what God had decided.  Think about this.  How can we follow the command of Jesus to love our enemies and to do good to them (Matthew 5:43-44) when we retort in hateful revenge when we are wronged by them?  Is getting even with our enemies an example of "turning the cheek" like we are commanded to do or is it in fact the exact opposite of what Jesus said?  It's the latter and we only kid ourselves if we believe that it is the former.  

To forgive does not mean that we ignore what happened just like when God offered forgiveness to the Israelites in Isaiah, He had not just ignored their many iniquities.  What it means is that we accept the fullness of what happened and yet even though we consider the fullness of what has been done, we still show mercy and pardon the other person for his/her sin.  This is what God did for us, otherwise we would not even be believers today.  It isn't easy but with God all things are possible.  If we turn it over to Him, He will in turn heal our wounds and give us peace and calmness in our hearts (Philippians 4:6).  We may have to cry those tears and we may have to feel the sting but at least we won't seek vengeance and we can continue loving instead of hating.  We may even be angry but in our anger we will not sin for we have handed the situation over to the Lord for Him to deal with.  Also, don't forget that forgiving a person doesn't mean that we just throw caution to the wind.  We should always be careful and cautious anyway saints just like Jesus told His disciples to be wise as serpents but as innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16).  But we should consider others in regards to where they stand now, not dwelling on the past.  What matters to God in regards to our faith is where our faith stands at the present time, not in the past.  So if the wrongdoer repents and does what is right, let there be reconciliation.  Yet if the wrongdoer does not repent and continues to sin, while you yet forgive, use wisdom. 

We have to be real.  It is difficult to be humble and still love someone when we are hurt and wronged by that very person.  But when it comes down to it, the one who is the prisoner is the one who does not forgive.  Also don't forget that we put ourselves in a dangerous position when we hold unforgiveness in our hearts especially after all that God has done for us.  The Lord will not stand for it.  Submit unto the Lord and He will work whatever is needed and necessary through us.  We must trust Him in not just some things but in all things and we must allow Him to be Lord of every single aspect of our lives.  Forgiveness is something that God has done throughout all of history and it is something that we are exhorted by Him to do as well especially we are supposed to be His representatives.  If we are God's people, then there is no excuse for unforgiveness just like there is no excuse for any other sin.  Do not let this influence of relativism, political correctness and humanism cloud your minds saints.  For the ways of the world are not the ways of God.  Forgive, so that if the time comes when we need forgiveness, God will indeed forgive us.  

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Generation Christ